My Side of the Story
“My goal with this page is to tell my side of the story in a way that can help you understand.” – CRTLY.
Before CRTLY…
Curtley...
Born back in January of 1995 I lived in my now late Grandmother’s house with my mother, my 2 uncles and my 2 aunts. Situated in the heart of Southerton, Harare, it was here where I learned my love for music, sound and diversity. Being around my stylish mother, I developed a strong sense of self from a very young age and the knack for being different was born. Before I go far, let me be clear, I have been close to both sides of my family my entire life in case you think it’s about to be that kind of story… It’s not.
It’s on my mother’s side of the family where I first got exposed to music and its diversity. My now late uncle, Martin put me on to a lot of music that to this day influences how I create but also triggers a lot of memories of my childhood which I now realize was full. From Sting to U2, to Bob Marley, Boom Shaka, Michael Jackson, Sade and the list goes on, we would go through record after record on his vinyl player and dancing in circles.
On the weekends – my father’s mother Gogo Mbanje used to pick my sister, Tatenda and I up and have us go with her to the farm in Masvingo with my aunt, Makie and uncle, Taku (who both later influenced my love for R&B, Alternative music, Dancehall and Hip-hop). On the way, she would have us listen to Oliver Mtukudzi back-to-back and this was my first introduction to Zimbabwean music.
My mother, Noelene, loved Tupac, and through her listening to him every Saturday morning, I learned the poetry of rap. Her eclectic music taste is something I inherited early through her exposing me to Notorious B.I.G, Ja Rule, Brian McKnight, Whitney Houston and K-Ci & Jojo to name a few. I was like a kid in a candy store.
90’s Baby, 2000’s Crazy.
By the time the new millennium came around I was now set into my musical ways – I knew where my love lay and with my access to television, I discovered early 2000s pop music, the different types of artists the world had to offer and most importantly… AESTHETIC.
Back then – simply by looking at every artist and band, we knew who they were based on how they presented themselves. That always stayed with me.
In kindergarten I got exposed to performing minor roles in school showcases and from this, I developed my love for theatrics and performance. Coupled with my deliberate choice of watching Michael, Prince, Destiny’s Child & Beyoncé, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and NSYNC, I unconsciously started shaping my idea of what performance, artistry and presentation could feel like.
In junior school at St John’s Preparatory, I learned creative writing, repetition and structure. I learned that through my words I could articulate my feelings and this prepared me for what was yet to come. The choir and the drama club helped me harness my voice, taught me early harmony, stage presence and a deeper dive into performance. Having the lead roles in school plays taught me how to control a crowd and gave me comfort in performing in front of larger groups of people. It was my first taste of being seen for performing well. A feeling I would later learn to chase.
In my high school years at Peterhouse, I expanded my musical knowledge and continued to write acapella songs that never really materialized into any realized concepts. I got exposed to four-part harmony and began singing solos. I wasn’t anywhere near the best vocalist, but I knew it would all help me in my musical pursuits in the future. In 2009 I formed a dance duo with my classmate. We then expanded in 2010 with more members. We created our own choreography and my love for attaching movement to sound took shape. Public speaking and the debate team aided in my abilities to present in front of crowds. It was around this time that I discovered my need for attention.
Loss…. Grief, complication and expression
When I was 9, my mother passed away and this was my first exposure to heartbreak. The world beneath me fell away and nothing ever felt quite the same again. Since then, I have lost a sister, my uncle, Martin, both my grandmothers and my father, Charles. This is just to mention the people I was blessed enough to have a deep relationship with.
My teen years were a contrast of my happier childhood. Since the passing of my mother, I learned to go within myself for comfort. Throughout my teens, my father faced a lot of financial and legal battles that had me in and out of school and changed the direction my life was taking.
With nowhere to place my grief, and its accompanying emotions, I began to express myself through acapella songwriting. I took this with me throughout my high school years.
Moving to the UAE.. Navigation and learning.
After the passing of my father soon after my 20th birthday, I looked around and knew that there was no one’s life that I wanted. The option for university wasn’t a reality for me, so when an opportunity presented itself for me to work in the UAE in retail, I seized it with both hands and never looked back.
"I knew I had a better chance of making my dreams a reality abroad than I could back home."
Starting out in Fujairah in 2015, I used to journey to Ajman on my day off to meet a producer who would teach me some basics of production which I would then be able to use at a later stage. In this two-year run I met my close friend, brother and earliest collaborator, Ados Beatz and together we worked on and off on some music together, nothing really heavy.
I left Fujairah in 2017, to indulge my passion for the equestrian industry with a job in Dubai.
Although separated from Ados, we still managed to come up with the sound of for the track “A Mad Man’s Confession.” Written from frustration with the reality that my life didn’t resemble my dreams and my true calling, I recorded an early version of the song in 2019, making it my first single as an independent artist.
I uploaded the former version to DSPs (Digital Streaming Platforms) and got my first taste of having my music out in the world.
At the tail end of COVID, with the help of my girlfriend at the time, I purchased my own studio equipment and moved to Sharjah. Ados came to live with me for 3 months and it was at this time that we created the foundation for what would later become my second EP “Thoughts: What I Hear in Silence”. Unaware of what we were doing, we realized quickly that we were in over our heads and decided to take a step back to do some learning.
In late 2020 I went back to the Equine industry and took a course in music engineering to gain a better grasp of what actually took place after the mic was off in the studio. By now I had been overcharged enough times and gotten underwhelming results throughout my life that I realized that to fully get what I wanted, I had to take things into my own hands even further.
From that point forward, I stopped waiting for people to build my vision for me.
Throughout 2021 I learned what I could when it came to sound. I had a bank of beats at my disposable, and this is when I began solely recording on my own without the assistance of anyone. Already capable of writing, I now had the tools I needed in order to start expanding my craft. At this time, I became accustomed to recording myself and began the grueling assignment of learning how to mix and master.
Can I Be Honest?
In early 2022, I recorded, engineered and released “Can I be Honest?”. I realized I was carrying emotions I couldn’t fully name, but I kept pushing anyway. It stemmed from a longer version I scrapped at the time due to industry advice, and I released it short and concise although very vague in contrast to the bigger story.
Open Mic, “Nothing Left”, “My side of the Story” and “What I Did in Silence”
2022-2023 was a difficult period that required a shift and pivot. I moved to Abu Dhabi and needed a new plan for the future. I took part in my first open mic in early 2023 and began drafting up some concepts for my future releases.
In October, I wrote and recorded “Nothing Left” – a track clothed in self-indulgence, remorse and toxicity which I released a month later to moderate reception. I revisited a song I had written in 2022 and a month later I released “My side of the Story”. Written about a previous toxic relationship – I was beginning to see a pattern. A week after the release of “My Side of the Story” I began working on my first EP.
I had proven to myself that I could write, record, engineer and release fully realized singles. It was now time to put together an audible story in sequence. Unhappy with the 2019 version of “A Mad Man’s Confession” I had since taken it down from DSPs and decided to re-record it as I had originally intended. I made this the first track of the EP and began formulating the rest of the project. Over a two-week period in the December holidays of 2023, I isolated and came up with “Ndiwe”, “Talk To yuh”, “On and On”, “Tear Me Down” and “L.F.Y”.
In sequence, the project sounds like someone trying to make sense of himself in real time. Driven by confusion, love, flirtatiousness, lust, pettiness and growth – “What I Did in Silence” was released on the 25th of January 2024 – on my 29th birthday. Pleased with the completion and realization of a proper project, I had caught the bug and began working on the project I had been intending to for years.
“Thoughts: What I Hear in Silence” – more performance.
Inspired by The Weeknd’s earlier work, I liked the concept of a trilogy comprising a bigger story. I revisited all the songs I had written from when I lived in the stable and from when Ados and I lived together. I believed that before my music would actually start to do well, I needed to venture into myself even further and do the things I loved but was always afraid to do. I chose to become more experimental and focus on feeling. Bringing the catchiness of my first EP, I decided to make this the darker, badder, more honest brother of my previous project.
I selected the songs I had previously written from a deeper place of vulnerability. I pulled out “My Own Lane”- a song I had written as my declaration that “this journey is mine and no matter how painful it may get, I will keep going”.
Alongside it, I pulled out “DRiP” and “RNNiN”. I also chose to write an intro, a prayer and an interlude giving a voice to my intrusive thoughts – a conversation between my past, current and future versions of myself.
I enlisted the help of Mexican guitarist Bobby Le Page who helped me give body to “My Own Lane” but also gave and an amazing sonic interpretation to the song I shortchanged a couple of years before – “Can I Be Honest”.
Throughout the recording process I utilized skills I had learned in harmony and used 4-part harmony to give my songs atmosphere and feeling. I built on the alternative sound that Ados Beatz and I had built years before. In August 2024 I released “Thoughts: What I Hear in Silence”. A complete sonic departure from its prequel – “What I Did in Silence”. For the first time, I understood my sound completely… Eclectic.
Why I write.
Recently, I realized that over the years, writing for me was an outlet to process my grief. I never understood why it felt so easy for me to articulate my deepest and sometimes darkest feelings until I self-therapized. Writing gives me a safe space to say what I am feeling without having to talk to anyone about it verbally.
Turning my lyrics into sound, harmony and structure allows me to not only vent my feelings and frustrations, but I am able to curate themes built on the foundation of the many episodes of my life.
Music gave those thoughts somewhere to live outside of me.
CRTLY + Controlled Chaos and who my music is for.
From the time I released my last project and after some deep conversations with my uncle, Joe. I have gained a deeper understanding of who I am as an artist. The different events in my life led me to a place of chaos. A place that for many years felt uncontainable and scary. After spending a year writing my next project, I gained a true understanding of who CRTLY is..
I gravitate towards black and white because it not represent the extremes of my personality. It reminds me that there are two extremes within me. Somewhere in the middle is where I found peace. A chaos that I have learned to control. I no longer run away from the parts of myself that once made me feel insane. I lean into them now.
Funny enough… I love it here.
Who is my music for?
My music isn’t a “one size fits all” and to be honest I don’t want it to be.
My music is for the people who aren’t afraid to feel something.
The ones who aren’t afraid to go to a place where they are honest with themselves.
I could never stay in one genre because that’s not who I am. But whatever I create will always come from a real place.
What’s next?
STAY CLOSE AND FIND OUT!
“Music is the chaos that drives me.”